Thursday, July 5, 2012

Still Burping Up Last Nights Dinner.

Gross right? What does this have to do with dating? Nothing. Well sort of, follow me if you will....

I have been dating now for a bit which means over the course of several months I've exchanged phone numbers, emails and high fives with several gentlemen  guys in the DMV. Some have been a few dates and it didn't work out, others just didn't work out. Either way, the key term to take away from these statements is.... didn't work out.

Now with that in mind I return to my blog title. Food is delicious, but have you ever had that lasting indigestion, where you burp hours later (maybe even a day because you are dysfunctional) and you can taste your previous meal?? Its not a good taste, because you were finished with your meal and well frankly, nothing tastes that good the second time around especially not in gaseous form. Well recently I have been contacted by some old dates..... you see where I'm going with this?

Look I hate to sound mean, but yes I am comparing being contacted by and old date that I didn't like to a smelly old burp. You know when it happens you were slightly reminded of the delicious meal you had, then the bad taste creeps in your mouth and your face turns sour....

Yep, that's about right. So the first was a very sweet gentleman who took me to a very nice restaurant (perhaps a little too classy for this gal) but I just wasn't feeling it. Unlike others, I had the common courtesy to tell him that, even though it was painfully awkward and one sided apparently... me being the side. Months later he emails me in a friendly tone, so I wrote back, like the dip shit I am. He quickly turned it back towards romantic and I bolted. Ugh... how do I not see these things coming??

The next couple were just plain silly. One I didn't even make it out on a date with because he sounded so creepy via text, that I politely cancelled. He then decided to try for round 2 recently...burnt. Nope. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars. Dude, you tried to get me to meet you at a hotel?! When I told you to fall off a cliff, what in the world made you think this was going to go in a different direction? Clearly I didn't respond... I wised up this time around, it only took my potential kidnapping to do so. The last one well, I can't say too much about, but we had zero in common, and yet somehow he still wants to get together. Gee, I wonder what for? Hmm lets see, we have nothing to talk about sooooo, yeah. Get real.

Come on guys! Lets get realistic here, you options aren't so bleak that you are turning yourself into a man whore or a stalker are they?!  BUrrrrp......

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