Tuesday, January 10, 2012

You mess with the bull.... you'll get the horns.

Sooooo we meet again. I would like to first point out that since this is still a blog about weight loss journeys, I have hit my goal! Yes this could be considered private information, but as Audrey stated in a previous blog, we are going to be proud when we hit our goals and want the world to celebrate it. Or at least get some damn fireworks from a small crowd during a WW meeting. So without stating my current weight I will just say that I have lost 34 pounds and couldn't be happier. I worked my ass off for that, so you are lucky I didn't also buy a small billboard over 495 with bright lights and kittens. (I'm not sure why I said kittens, but they are cute a draw attention so I suppose they could still serve a purpose)

I digress, since I can't get enough of these amazing dates I have been on, I agreed to go on a couple more. If you haven't noticed, I only write about the ones that one day won't get me in trouble in case I meet someone I really like, so I am only going to talk about one man, and one man only during this blog. Bull horns.

Bull horns has by far been my most ridiculous yet most comically satisfying date thus far. For those who know I was going on this date, this would be the nerdy scientist (for the record, that is how he described himself.... which wasn't a lie, he was a borderline genius...I should have known then). I'll begin: So I agreed to meet bull horns at an Asian fusion restaurant downtown at around 7pm. I first walk in to the lobby and see an attractive man waiting and looking vaguely like the photos for bull horns..... but apparently not him. Damn. Then, the door opens and he arrives..... wowzers.














OK that's not really him, but Bull horns, your photos are a little misleading.... I'm just saying. It may make me an asshole, but it wouldn't be the first time someone called me that. Anyhow, I reach out to shake his hand and say hello.... he awkwardly reaches back and some how misses my grip and we end up grasping on to each others thumbs in a weird interaction I'd like to forget. It felt like my hand just got to second base with his and didn't like it, so I quickly turned to the host to follow him to our seat. Let the games begin...

So we sat down and grabbed the menu and began to ponder our dinner choice in what I can only describe as the longest 10 minutes of my life. Dead silence. I thought, hmmm I might have to carry this convo so I better think of a good start. But I've got nothing.... ok wait, it was just NYE- ask him about that. "How was your NYE?" and then it happened. You may have been wondering why his nickname is what it is... He proceeds to lift up his hands and threw out the heavy metal bull horn hand gesture and say "kick ass." Not a big deal right???? Well multiply that hand gesture and that response by about 16, and that would be about how many times this happened during dinner which only encouraged me to stop saying things that were so "kick ass."


After a single hour of one sided conversation and a slip in a story where Bull horns actually referred to me as 'hot chick' to my face, I was about done. The fumes from his hair gel were starting to get to me, and the fact that his teeth were so pointy I was beginning to think there was some truth to this vampire stuff everyone is so addicted to. At the end of this date I thought man I am being rather harsh... Bull horns might just be nervous, and even though I know this isn't going anywhere, I should give him a break. I will remind you that although these thoughts are going through my head, and am on nothing but my best behavior except for a small giggle I let slip after bull horn gesture #12.

So we are exiting the restaurant and I give him a hug goodbye. "It was really nice to meet you," I said. "It was really nice to meet you too Sara," Bull horns replied. Only I wish that was all he had done, instead that reply was coupled with a long and obvious glare from my face all the way to my toes, and then back up to my face.... then maybe back down again to my thighs and oh wait there are my eyes! Gross.... you almost had me Bull horns.... you almost had me.