Thursday, September 6, 2012

Four score and 7 years ago...

It happened. I found someone who enjoys my insanity as much as I enjoy theirs..... I know wait for massive explosion or possible baby to fall from the sky and purple elephants to fly over your head. I realize that throughout this journey I have gone through many stages of a very unpredictable life. And we all know unpredictable for me means fun reading for you. But what happens when the dating stories stop?? Am I even still allowed to write on this blog?

Ummmm seriously? Shame on you.  That's your answer.

To be clear the dating stories don't stop they are just consistently with one asshole who is willing to put up with my nonsense, and is well aware he may end up in said blog. So if anything it just provides me with more ammo and my snarkiness.... well, that is permanent :) To show the same compassion as I did for all the other blokes that ended up on this blog, I will kindly refer to this one as 'It took you long enough'. Kidding. He will go by the name shellfish. We'll get there...

Brief background: Shellfish and I have been friends for quite some time and although we had a brief time apart, oh say 7 years, you can't shake a solid friendship. Sadly, we are both boring enough that we were able to pick up right where we left off and that is the end of that snoozefest story. Anyhow, it's hard to date someone without actually getting to go out on dates. Oops, I almost forgot, Shellfish lives in Kansas. I know... I said the same thing, but he has slowly been winning me over with stories of food. (Obviously he started reading the beginning of this blog and the jig is up) Anywhoooo he came for a visit this month and we decided to make up for lost time. There were way to many ridiculous outings to share from just this one weekend, but I'll stick to the one that got him his name.

So why shellfish? Well I recently learned that my loverboy has an allergy to shrimp. A bad one. Which I can only assume means other shellfish, so the first thing on our agenda while he was here was to go eat some good old Maryland crabs :) After arriving in Annapolis, we went to Cantlers for some yummy all you can eat. Midway through stuffing out faces, I looked up and asked him, "Did you bring your epipen?"..... Response: "I was just thinking that,..... nope." Well what do you know?! This meal just got a little interesting. After indicating to me that his tongue was a little itchy, I felt the need to check on him every 10 minutes to make sure his face wasn't swelling up like Will Smith in Hitch. While we made it through the meal without needing to stab him in the leg (not that we could have because that bozo left his pen at the house), the true highlight of this story is that he insisted on continuing, and did so for about 2-3 hours eating crabs with me with a shellfish allergy. I'd like to think it was because of the company, but lets be honest with ourselves.... who can beat Md crabs? Either I have found my food soul mate, who sacrifices all for a good meal, or I have fallen for a big stupid idiot who is completely reckless about his own health and wants to end up like this:

I'll let you be the judge :)