Okay- so it's been a minute since we have posted on this blog and that is for many reasons none of which are exciting enough to discuss. Instead lets do a little recapping for things that you may have missed during this gap.
First off, I recently told you a story about me getting sloppy and perhaps the victim of a little person molestation. The truth is, I re-read that story several times and decided to take a step back from this blog. I couldn't tell if it was hilarious or just plain sad. Haha. Okay maybe a little of both. To your delight and to my horror, nothing has changed much since then.
I went to NYC with friends a month ago. Much like Vegas, I usually choose to keep what happens there a secret since I and others usually act a fool and then we piece our previous night together collectively the next morning. This trip was right in line with that outline. I managed to pick up a straight man at a gay bar, a "doctor" none the less. I use the term "doctor" loosely since I did not see his medical license and frankly because it was brought up so many times during the evening that I can't remember much else about him. Like for example... his name.... anyhow, he danced like a bad version of Carlton from Fresh CARL!!! That was his name, CARL!!! Sorry- like a bad version of Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel Air. We obviously decided to call him that for the remainder of the evening. He really wore out his welcome when he tried to stand between me and Ramon during our rendition of Beyonce's 'Love on Top'. Since he didn't really get the hint that I wouldn't be leaving with him, I had to spell it out slowly.... Dear Carlton, I will only be leaving this club with the 7 men I showed up here with.... none of which want to see me with my clothes off. Sincerely, Getting Smothered.
I haven't gone on many online dates recently, and since the last set of text messages I got from one guy which ranged anywhere from wanting to get snowed in with me, taking care of me while I was sick, and attempting to get me to meet him at a hotel all before we even met, I have canceled my subscription to creeperdate.com and have decided to give the dating thing a little break. Or at least leave it up to fate and see where that lands me. (Which I am well aware landed me no where before but shut your face I am in the middle of trying to be optimistic).
Of course I can't share EVERYTHING, so I won't :) I have no clue whats on the horizon, but I am already planning my big vaca for this birthday year and its gonna be a good one! Stay tuned...
