Pinocchio ain't got nothin on me.

I told my first lie to myself in a long time......

Yesterday I went home and I got this adorable amount of attention from my puppy then she sort of fell asleep and looked back at me like this:

And then it happened. I said to myself... "Who needs a significant other when you have love like this to come home to??"

I do. And so do you. This is the wrong thing to say and the first step in becoming a cat lady. Stay away from cute puppies or kitty cats when you are feeling weak!!! They convince you that this obnoxious dating to find a significant other isn't important! But IT IS.

Unless you are one of those weirdos that should be in jail for lovin on your animals the way a human being shouldn't.... stop telling this lie to yourself. Don't worry, I immediately slapped myself in the face after saying that and did some P90x. It won't happen again.

The Heightened Truth About Dating

Well hello again.... fancy meeting you here.... do you realize I'm only an inch taller than you?

Ok, so it doesn't start like that... let me back up. If I knew all along that going into this dating game that my height was going to be the issue, well hell, I wouldn't have bothered with Weight Watchers! I certainly can't shrink myself.

This is a small rant about dating.... hello welcome to our blog, have we met? Continuing... Not only do you have to worry that once you are in your late 20's men that want to date you are already in their 40's. Yep. yeah late 40's bitches. The men that are your age are looking for 20 year olds! Not 20 something year olds, 20 year olds. Then once you make it to someone who doesn't fall into that category you have to wonder if you are the right body type. Now see this one is the one I thought would be the most difficult to handle having just slimmed down (trust me it hasn't been a day at the parade). Did you say you wanted athletic and toned or did you mean skin and bones??? I prefer to pick 'about average' in this category, as to set zero standards for what I'm going to look like. I mean really, what is more descriptive than the word 'average'?

So if you manage to steer clear of all these issues, then you may or may not run into the whammy that has thrown me for a loop. Your height. Whats that?? Your 5'5"?? Perfect. 5'8"?? Wonderful I'm sure!! 5'11"??? Whoa whoa wait a minute. Hold it right there. Do you know how tall you are? This is the stage of the game that works like a carnival in reverse. Remember all that time you waited to be 'this tall to ride this ride'?? Now you should be glad you are standing under that thin line... Who would have thought that height would be the issue? Certainly not I.

Well rude awakening number 47. It does! In the last two conversations I've had with people online I got "Do you care that we are the exact same height?" (Well no but obviously you do....) and then the more recent.... "I'm only two inches taller than you, is that a problem?" Ahem... lets be clear.... problems: Third eyeball, lives with mom, hairy butt, smokes crack, small stint in a prostitution ring... ALL PROBLEMS. You wanna know what isn't on that list?? I think you get the point.

Me and my future husband.