Saturday, September 3, 2011

Taco Hell

Helllooooo everyone- It has been awhile because Audrey and I have been working our tushies off and haven't had a chance to blog. I mean it, literally... tushies = gone.

Well sort of. They are still there but look much smaller than their original size. I digress, anyhow Audrey and I had a great weigh in so we thought it would be a great idea to ruin it by eating whatever we felt like. Okay so maybe that wasn't our original motive, in fact we started off fine, but somewhere down the line things went awry.

After making some mistakes at Ruby Tuesday's for lunch we decided that we wanted Taco Bell for dinner. Now I haven't had Taco Bell in like a year or longer, the same goes for Audrey- so this pretty much had regret written all over it.

Reaching that counter was like reaching the finish line of a marathon. Now... to order. It was like riding a bicycle, I tossed out my selection like I had been ordering taco bell my whole life. Maybe because I had been, but whatever. To get the full picture of our experience, you must stop reading this blog and sit in silence for 15 minutes. This 15 minutes represents the silence that took place once we started eating.

I had nothing to say to Audrey, I was too busy shoving my face full of beefy glory. (I know what that sounded like, and I just don't care) I did pause once to look up at Audrey who then asked me how I was doing because I began to sweat and was breathing heavy. Upon realizing this I began to laugh uncontrollably and just repeat, "I am definitely going to vomit." To which Audrey replied, "Can I unbutton my pants?" Me: "Can people see your buttons?" Audrey: "No." Me: "Then go for it." It continued to go downhill from there. Audrey?

Audrey here. I'm in a blackout food coma right now and Sara is forcing me to blog. Seriously, I know we went to Taco Bell and I know I enjoyed it but seriously, right now the the beefy, beany, cheesy Taco Belly goodness has me all kinds of messed up.

To continue Sara's story. I look across the table and Sara looks like she might be ill but at the same time continues to soldier on and finish her meal. At this point I have demolished the smorgasbord of the food I ordered. I'm pretty sure I also blacked out and inhaled my food while we were there because I felt like there was a tray of food and then I came too and there I was dragging my finger across the Nacho Supreme tray licking off the last bit of nacho cheese with a trayful of used napkins and taco wrappers. All the while Sara is scraping the last bit of cheese out of her container with a spork. Don't judge us bitches.

Because this was a Chicken Bell, at some point Sara and I decided to take a second out of our low moment at Taco Bell to discuss the pros and cons of Popeyes and KFC and which was better. I believe the line from Sara was "I don't want to be friends with anyone who likes KFC." Me: "Really? Because I like KFC's sides better." Seriously, we will always be fat kids.

So at this point Sara is now looking a little green and using the rest of her napkins to wipe the sweat off her forehead and looks down at her tray and says "I need this to be gone." At which point Sara then promptly gets up, throws away her trash and walks out. By the time I reach the car, Sara is in the car with the door half open and with the air conditioning on full blast. I on other hand am seriously challenged getting to the car and nearly eat shit to which Sara yells at me "Stop making me laugh I am not out of the vomit zone yet!"

I'm seriously concerned that Sara is about to vom on her steering wheel to which I tell her: "If vomit comes spewing out of your mouth right now I am going to be soo disgusted." All I can think of is all of this is so ridiculous that it needs to be documented in photos. To which I ask Sara as she is now sitting half passed out with her pants unbuttoned in the car "Can I take a picture of you right now?" And thus I did. Check out below. You can see the aftermath of our Taco Bell Barf-Fest (and yes that is what I named this meal in my WW tracker.)



This is Sara looking particularly ready to hurl.


Let's face it this picture needs no caption.


And yes. My pants are unbuttoned.